He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
