We won't sleep together?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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