Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
