OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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