Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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