hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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