At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
