I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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