...so i touched it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
