I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
