you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
