you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize