How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
