I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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