listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
