It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So much Jack, so little girl.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.