I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.