my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?