PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me