Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
