Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
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Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
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OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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