Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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