What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
