Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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