Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
