I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
