Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I touched a dick in church today
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
