don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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