I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
