And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
