You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
