P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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