dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Are my feet made of real feet?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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