I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
