distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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