Having a random hookup so left but love u
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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