never play flip cup with pint glasses
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
