it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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