Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
