you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
A bitchslap is in order.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
