I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
