This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
