He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
