Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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