Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
