I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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