This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
