I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
