Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
