Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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