I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
They have beer where we have blood.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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