she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
