Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
