what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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