This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
