what day is it and did you see me today?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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