i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
