I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
