You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
