it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize