she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
