I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
