my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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