i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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