Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have already put on my inside pants.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
