Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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