Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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