No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
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WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize